How do you cope caring for a loved one with dementia from afar? There's no-one to share the burden. There's no-one to bounce ideas off of. You're stuck in quicksand and everyone just doesn't "get it". Share your tips and if/how you have managed or are managing.

We caregivers often face physical, emotional, and mental strain every day, in caring for a person with dementia. Day by day, hour by hour and then not realise that years have passed. Every forum, every post, every medical professional, friends, neighbours, and more all say the same thing: "Take care of yourself." But how? Did you seek support? Did it work for you? Respite/breaks? Walks, exercise and other activity? How do you shut off your mind and just focus on the now and not the "what if's?" Post here what you’ve done to take care of yourself, and let’s share ideas.

You're loved one is in a carehome. The carehome is not close to you. And that could mean 100 miles, 1000 or even 10,000 miles away. What do you do? How will you stay connected? What happens if there is an emergency? Share your stories here.

Purpose of the Site This forum is a safe space for people to share experiences and support each other in managing the challenges of caring for loved ones with dementia from a distance. We're not here to judge or get cheeky with others. We are here to help each other. Whilst moderators oversee the forum, we do not pre-check all posts and cannot guarantee the accuracy, integrity, or quality of content. Please consult a doctor or relevant professional before making decisions that could affect you or others. As mentioned under our Terms of Service, please do not name any medical health or care providers. Any legal services and/or their individual staff is prohibited. These will be removed. User Conduct Expectations • Use of this forum is at your own risk. • Content is the sole responsibility of the poster. • Users under 18 must get permission from a parent or guardian. • By using the site, you agree to these terms. If you don’t agree, you may be prohibited from using it. Post Guidelines • No offensive, defamatory, or unlawful content. You'll be banned! • No personal contact details (e.g., email, phone numbers) in posts. • Personal endorsements may be allowed; no unsolicited commercial ads. • No ads for items, whether for sale or donation. • Avoid repeated or "bumped" posts. • Posts must be in English please and respect copyright, privacy, and intellectual property rights. • Do not provide medical, legal, or financial advice, and avoid discouraging others from seeking professional help. • Claims about alternative therapies are not permitted. • Religious beliefs can be shared respectfully but must not attack others. • No posting of photos. • Private messages may be viewed if needed to address issues. Posting a new topic: You have to be a member and log into the Forum to do either of these things. Either click ‘Create New Post” OR Log in at the top right. You may then go to any of the Categories to post or respond to other views. There are a couple of Categories listed that you can access from here: Welcome to the Forum - this takes you to: Forum Rules (you are here!). Dementia Caring from Afar: Let's share how we have managed to take care of our PWD remotely and from afar. Carehome – All things related: Caring never stops when your loved one is in a carehome. In fact, sometimes it can be a huge adjustment. Click here for Carehomes and caring from afar. Help for Caregivers: Share where you may have received help. However please do not mention names, or provide medical/legal or financial advice. There are other sites for that - not here. We reserve the right to edit, remove, or close any post or account without prior notice. By using this site, you consent to the collection and use of your personal data for forum operations.

Caring for a loved one with dementia can be incredibly challenging. This forum is a space for discussing tough topics and emotions. This differs from everyday rants and frustrations section. This is for deeper emotional struggles. These are more intense feelings tied to grief, sadness, guilt, anger, or anxiety about your loved one’s decline, or your ability to handle caregiving long-term. They often linger, affecting your mood for days or weeks, and may not easily go away even after venting. Examples: • Not liking this person you are taking care of. • Grief over the loss of who they used to be. • Feeling powerless to help as the disease progresses. • Sense of sadness as you witness their cognitive decline and loss of independence. • You might already feel a form of "anticipatory grief," mourning their gradual decline even though they’re still physically present. • You feel angry at the disease for taking away your loved one’s personality and memories. • You might feel resentment toward the situation—frustrated that your life has been changed or restricted by caregiving responsibilities. Why me? Why them? Why us? • There could be anger toward other family members who aren’t helping enough or who don’t understand the burden you carry. • Constant worry about what the future holds for your loved one, wondering how much worse things will get. • Anxiety about making the right decisions—whether about medical care, finances, or their daily routine. • Fear of what will happen when you can no longer care for them, or if you’ll face similar issues yourself as you age. • Isolation in your role as a caregiver, as though no one else fully understands what you're going through. • Social connections may have dwindled because you’re too focused on caregiving to maintain friendships or personal time. • Feeling powerless watching their condition deteriorate despite your best efforts to care for them. • Struggling with the fact that, no matter how hard you try, there’s no way to stop the progression of the disease. • Feeling overwhelmed by the demands of caregiving, unsure of how to meet their growing needs. • You might feel embarrassed when your loved one behaves in ways that are socially inappropriate due to their dementia. • Feelings of shame if you experience moments of frustration or anger toward your loved one, especially if you lose your temper. And finally - • The constant emotional toll of caregiving can leave you feeling emotionally drained, not just physically tired. You may feel burnt out from balancing caregiving with other life responsibilities, like work, family, or personal health. These are all normal emotions to feel when caring for a PWD - and from my personal experience. Please add yours too.

Do you have tips for moving a person with dementia to a new care home? If you've cared for someone with dementia, and have had to move care homes I'd love to hear your insights. Whether it’s due to dissatisfaction, unmet needs, or distance, your experiences could help others navigate this tough decision.

Is it that time? How do you know when your PWD needs a care home? There are so many factors to consider. • Increased Care Needs • Caregiver Burnout • Safety Concerns • Declining Health: Your or theirs. • Social Isolation Untimely it is the main caregiver's decision. It's not easy and doesn't get easier. What do you say to them? Let's share stories on how we navigated through this. Read my blog on when it may be Time for a Carehome?

If you've just joined us, Welcome. I created this forum to help others who are going through the difficult process of finding and navigating care for their loved ones, from long distance. And by long distance, I mean from one city away to one country away or even on the other side of town. When I started this journey on my own, I struggled to find resources or a community to lean on. Now, after years of experience and helping others along the way, I wanted to build a space where we can come together, share advice, and support each other. Whether you're just starting out or already deep into the process or been there/done that, this forum is here for you. Let’s help each other with our experiences and hopefully make this a less stressful journey. Getting started You don't need to have a specific question to get started - just click to whichever post you would like and say hi, introduce yourself and start to share. Important Key Tips for Privacy and Safety: • Remember, this is a public forum, so most posts (except in members-only sections) are visible to anyone online. • Register with a username that doesn’t reveal your full name. • Avoid sharing personal details, like your address, email, or phone number, in public posts. • Be cautious about posting information that could identify you, such as where you live or specific dates you'll be away. Connecting Outside the Forum: I'm not your parent :), but I do worry since I've been there and still am some days. I strongly advise against connecting with members outside the forum. Since many of us are in vulnerable situations, it’s best to keep communication within the community to ensure safety. • If you decide to connect with members outside the forum, do so carefully. Build trust before exchanging personal information. • Maybe do so on FB, if they have a page but again - please use caution. More importantly, if anything feels "off" or dodgy, don’t hesitate to report it. Email caretechconsult@gmail.com Read our FAQ for more information.

What challenges have you faced in placing your loved one in a care home? Making the decision to move your person with dementia (PWD) into a home is incredibly hard. Whilst people around you may say it's 'the best thing to do' or 'you’ve done the right thing,' the reality is, no matter how much you've struggled with the decision (I did too), sometimes the time comes. Whether it’s for their health, well-being, or your own, it’s such a difficult but necessary step. This doesn’t mean you stop being their caregiver—you’re still responsible for ensuring they receive the right care. In the Care Home: Are their needs truly being met? Are they eating well? Are they receiving the correct medications? Do they enjoy the activities, or are they being pushed to participate? How do you ensure they're safe and comfortable, especially if they can't communicate their needs? How do the staff interact with everyone? Is it clean? Are you able to communicate with them? Even though they’re in a care home, you’re still their advocate, making sure they’re treated with respect and compassion. You are their voice. We protect them when they can't protect themselves. Share your stories here.

Your loved one is at home and you are far. This could be next town or next country. You are caring for them. Share your tips and tricks with helping to care for your loved one from afar. Have you used technology? Any gadgets? What did you not expect? What's been a surprise blessing? What's worked and not worked? What's been your biggest challenge?